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- The Muffin Man
Airbnb Announces Plan to Prevent Unauthorized Parties by Sending Over Greg from IT to Teach Dungeons and Dragons
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — According to an announcement made Tuesday, Airbnb launched a new initiative to prevent guests from abusing host properties by sending Greg from IT to teach guests how to play Dungeons and Dragons.
“After extensive research conducted at the high school and collegiate levels, we’ve determined that nothing eliminates that possibility of a party like a near five-hour role-playing board game with a 320-page player handbook and 20-sided die,” said Airbnb Chief Party Patroller Paul Bleakman, “Now, pair that with the charisma blackhole that is Greg from IT and you’ve got what we call in the biz a ‘showstopper.’”
The company says Greg’s role will be to facilitate game-play and a lengthy discussion on the difference between gnomes and dwarves. In the rare eventuality that this conversation comes to an end, Greg has been instructed to spark debate in his other areas of extensive expertise: the history of the bar code, insurance claims adjustments, and glue.
At the printing of this newsletter, Greg was seen polishing his die to ensure minimal drag whilst maximizing torque.
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